Body Shaming in ALL sizes: IT'S NOT OKAY!

Fat-Shaming ad by PETA

Body Shaming (n.): The practice of ridiculing people publicly for their body type.

Every time I turn my head or scroll through social media, my heart breaks one little inch at a time. Every time I see an ad shaming women for looking the way they do, whether skinny or fat, I shake my head in what we, as a world-group of women, have become. It seems as though women have become reactionary predators, feeding themselves on the lack of confidence and belittlement they cause by the choice of words they use.

Why do women put down other women knowing how difficult it can be to be a woman in today's cruel society. Let me tell you something ladies and gets, the hurtful things that people say to you are a measure of who they are as a person and how they feel about themselves, it has nothing to do with you and how you look.

My personal rant:

To the "Real Men Love Curves" campaigners, let me tell you that it is just as insulting when someone calls me "too skinny" as it would be if someone called you "ugly fat." Since when should my self-esteem be measured by what this one type of "man," which society erroneously created, "wants" or "thinks"? 

Also, with Kim K "breaking the Internet" with her backside and hip hop moguls such as Nicki Minaj wearing barely-there clothing showing off every inch of their body, women seem to find it OK to hide behind the phrase "Real men love curves." Stop hiding. You're curvy and beautiful and I'm skinny and beautiful. 

But, let's call a spade a spade here. We are in an obesity epidemic here in America. More than one third (34.9%) of Americans are obese according to the Journal of American Medicine. Being genetically overweight/curvy versus being unhealthy overweight are two totally different things. Just as being genetically thin is different than being unhealthy skinny. If you don't want to eat healthy, that is YOUR choice and you are entitled to it and I love you regardless, but please don't go making others feel shameful for being skinny or fit or any other body type otherwise. Your acceptance of your own body, whether skinny or overweight, is wonderfully refreshing, but it does NOT make MY body ugly or less ideal.

My biggest fear is what we are teaching our future generation. Are we teaching young children that eating unhealthy foods every single day and gaining unhealthy weight is appealing and fine? It is not. Are we teaching them to be so stick thin that they think eating one cookie is unhealthy? It is not. Why would we want our children to live unhealthy lives? Why are we condoning obesity or emaciation? Why are we not instead teaching them to love the body they have while maintaining a healthy lifestyle? We are actively creating monsters in a society of women who demoralize one another just to feel better about themselves.

"Me saying, “I feel so bloated right now,” and my friend responding: “Shut the f*ck up and go eat a cheeseburger you skinny b*tch.” That would be like my friend saying, “I feel so bloated right now,” and me being like “at least you get natural insulation in the winter from all your fat.” Both would garner a “ha, ha” through gritted teeth. So how is one okay and not the other? How is skinny-shaming not as bad as fat shaming? Both are hostile, both are mean, and both make the other person feel extremely uncomfortable." -Aleanbh Ni Chaernaigh



I fear for women as a whole as we seem to constantly measure our self-worth based on the ever-changing social and cultural "norms." How and when will we ever feel "good-enough" or "perfect" when we, ourselves, are continuously changing our own minds about what we think should be beautiful. By the time one "trend" of body type becomes mainstream, the next body "trend" is sprouting. Take a look at the time frame below of the past century of body image ideals. Each consecutive year brings on almost the opposite trend of the year before.

Body image "ideals" throughout the past 100 years.
Source
 

1910's: The Gibson Girl: Round, soft body gathered together in a small waist.
1920's: The Flapper: Streamlined, petite, straight and narrow
1930's: The Soft Siren: Curves make a small comeback, but petite is still in.
1940's: The Star-Spangled Girl: Thanks to World War II Broad shoulders became "ideal" and the "softness" of the 1930's disappeared. Women were striving to look taller and squarer.
1950's: The Hourglasss: Larger hips and butts become the "in" thing with butt pads and creams being sold in magazine that promise growth.
1960's: The Twig: Narrow hips and petite frames make a huge comeback with record amount of amphetamines being prescribed for weight-loss. Enter Weight Watchers: 1963.
1970's: The Disco Diva: pressures to maintain slim hips and flat stomachs still exist, but with clothes becoming tighter, curves start to make a slight comeback.
1980's: The Supermodel: Tall , leggy women start to represent the new feminine ideal. Fitness becomes more admirable with muscles becoming desirable on women and sports bras go mainstream.
1990's: The Waif: Small and slim-framed , the "heroin chic" becomes idealized. The fashion industry starts introducing over sized slouchy pants and fraying sweaters to make women look thinner.
2000's: The Buff Beauty: Muscular and toned bodies are back in thanks to Supermodel Giselle Bundchen's visible abs and spray-tanned body spread on the cover of every high fashion magazine of the decade.
2010's: The Booty Babe: With Kim Kardashian "breaking the Internet" with her backside, Nicki Minaj releasing her workout music video of "Anaconda" there is no subtlety left in the world of body image and fashion.

But, don't you see? That's exactly what it is- a trend. As Tina Fey wrote in Bossypants, “Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.”

We should stop concentrating so much on what we look like on the outside and care more on what we ARE on the inside, all in mind, body, and heart. We should stop tearing each other down to the ground and instead empower each other to become a better version of ourselves, all in mind, body, and heart.

There is a big difference between being a healthy size 0 or size 16 (YES, zero IS a size) versus being an unhealthy size 0 or size 16 (YES, you can be unhealthy even as a size 0). If you're skinny, love it. If you have curves, love it. The point is to love the body that you are in and strive to take care of your health. Being healthy and fit is not fad or a trend, it's a lifestyle.



The point is not to be fat or to be skinny, but to be HEALTHY.
Click here to calculate your BMI (body mass index)

So, I'm going to put an end to this ridiculousness in one in one phrase:
 

LOVE YOURSELF
Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.
Love yourself enough never to lower your standards for anyone.
Love yourself enough to rise above the influence of media.
Love YOURSELF enough to empower OTHERS.



Me loving my skinny self.
4'11"; 90 pounds; BMI 18.2%